Songs of Eretz Poetry Review is pleased to present “Seven Months” by Kaitlyn Frazier, a Songs of Eretz Frequent Contributor and this week's Poet of the Week. A biography of Ms. Frazier may be found under our “About Our Editor & Frequent Contributors” heading.
The first month was difficult, Charlie;
Mawmaw April rode with me to the clinic
The test said positive, and I panicked.
Later, I went to your daddy’s trailer to show him the pink paper,
At the time, we weren’t together.
He wrinkled his forehead and rubbed his brow
Laid the paper back upon the table.
After a bit of awkward silence,
I left him and the paper on the table.
At first he tried to keep in touch,
And asked about you all the time.
Even invited us over for supper,
We were friends there for a while.
The fifth month was the month for your ultrasound,
We found out you were a girl.
Daddy was working out of town,
But a few weeks later, he never went back,
Forgot about our girl.
He said he loved us, Charlie, and would help all he could,
But love was something he never really understood.
Now it’s the seventh month
And you’re growing so fast.
It’s hard to remember and look upon the past.
Daddy still doesn’t work
And hasn’t asked after you in a while.
He’d rather party or go to a bar
Than talk about his child.
I offered to let him help with a car seat
And your ultrasound in 4d,
But when it came time to pay,
He ignored me throughout the days.
So, now I’m struggling, Charlie,
I don’t know what to do.
I want him to be a part of your life,
But only if it will be good for you.
I keep hoping he will change
And be the daddy he needs to be
But the closer your time comes
The further away he seems.
I hope that with whatever I choose
You won’t hate me but love me instead
For all I wanted to do
Was make sure you had happy dreams
And thoughts that ran through your head.
You will never see this, I will make sure,
All you need to know about daddy
Are good things not poor.
I know he loves you as I do
Maybe just in a different way.
So don’t ever feel like
You are less than what you are
But only perfect.
There are many people who love you already.
Pawpaw, Mawmaw, Uncle Bubba, Aunt Morgan
To name a few.
If you could, just remember, Charlie,
We adore you.
Poet's Notes: This is a letter to my daughter, Charlie. As much as I dislike her father right now, there is no way in this world that I would tell her bad things about him. This is the toughest situation I have ever been in, because with everything I do, I influence her life. I know way too many single mothers nowadays, and it’s extremely sad.