The opening sentence is a run-on. That shifted me from story reader mode into grammar police mode, thus decreasing my enjoyment of an otherwise gripping tale. A comma splice error serves as the opening sentence after the break in the narrative. A few short paragraphs down, another run-on appears.
This story has an authentic, classic, old household tales feel to it. The mood the author creates is chilling. The end is as horrifying as that of "The Monkey's Paw." However, unfortunately, as my English teachers used to say, "grammar counts." 5 out of 7 rocket-dragons are awarded (7 minus 2 for grammatical errors).
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